My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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