You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize