I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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