But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This is the high leading the old right now
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize