she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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