I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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