I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
