I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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