I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
