My cat gives me a boner
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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