she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
