No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
