Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
thus making me awesome and them whores
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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