i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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