Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
