fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
high people should be assigned attendants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
PANTIES FOUND
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