I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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