i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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