Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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