There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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