It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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