i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
