I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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