if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
