and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
