It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
