This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
