At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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