people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
