wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
40s are totally the cure
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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