How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
