I want to have your abortion
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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