What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize