so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
