I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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