seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
