also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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