I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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