We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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