I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
