I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
