My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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