i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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