i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
