Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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