chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
