guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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