I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
