Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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