It's like a parade of train wrecks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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