what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
