u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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