I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
