He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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