She announced her abortion via fbk
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
