The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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