ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
