i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The air was thick with penises
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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