I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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