problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
