I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
