I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
