honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
