and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
